Five Questions to Ask Before You Join a Personal Growth Group, Church or Spiritual Teacher

From Alexandra Amor's blog, Cult, a Love Story

Five Questions to Ask Before You Join a Personal Growth Group, Church or Spiritual Teacher



Do you know when you’re being manipulated or coerced? Unfortunately there are those who will deliberately prey on those of us who are seeking answers and guidance in life. When we are seeking answers, often our hearts and minds are a bit more open, and therefore a bit more susceptible to manipulation. I offer these questions as a way for you to take a measured assessment of any teaching or group that you are attracted to. I wish I had known to ask myself these questions before I joined a meditation group that turned out to be a cult.
1. Do the answers that are being provided by the group or the teacher seem too easy and/or too all-encompassing? Is what is being offered a panacea to ALL your problems? Life is never that simple; no once can make good on a promise of a one-stop solution.

2. Is there a sense of urgency that prevails in the group or that is layered into the decisions you’re being asked to make? In cults and/or coercive situations this is done purposefully so that you don’t have time to consider the downside or the arguments against joining. Urgency encourages us to ignore our normal decision-making processes and our intuition about the danger in a situation.
3. Do you have any intuitive heebie jeebies? Any red flags? Is your body expressing discomfort with the situation while your head/logic tries to talk you out of that? Your body always knows the truth. Don’t ignore it.

4. Does the intimacy in the situation move along too quickly? Is the teacher or leader a little too eager to like you and praise you and become your new BFF? Do you feel extremely flattered? This is seduction and a sure sign of coercive behaviour.

5. Are you in a time of transition or depression? It is more difficult to be skeptical and analytical at these times in life. Any time you’re in a major period of transition or feeling depressed, make a point to avoid big decisions and committing yourself to groups or individuals.

Two Bonus Questions

6. Are you being told, subtly or otherwise, that your life will be harmed if you don’t go along with what’s being offered? As though the group/leader/teacher knows better for you than you know for yourself. This is never possible. You always know what’s best for you.

7. Are you being asked to reserve judgment about morally or ethically questionable behaviours or situations in the group? Or do you find yourself telling yourself to reserve judgment? “This crazy behaviour will make sense when I’m more spiritual or educated or know more about how the group works.” If a situation seems wrong at the time, knowing more won’t explain that, you will only be convinced to ignore your initial hesitation.

David Murray

by Angeles Conde and David JP Murray


Whatever happened to Maciel's reporter, Bro. David Murray? He left the Legion but carried on in the capacity of unconditional reporter, biographer and hagiographer for Nuestro Padre Maciel

Where are you David?
and
How are you?

Former RC Consecrated, Nelly Ramirez, Publishes Testimonies [Spanish Text]

Former Regnum Christi Consecrated, Nelly Ramirez sends a letter to her former team members on the occasion of the publication of her book The Kingdom of Marcial Maciel with a prestigious Mexican publisher.
In this letter she attempts to cut off the usual litany of "objections" from active members along the lines of "resentful, lies, disgruntled, libel..."
She apologizes for offending anyone
She maintains anonymity where requested
and has been as objective as possible
She also affirms she has consulted with well informed and balanced experts
====
¡Venga tu Reino!


México DF, 25 de febrero de 2011

Muy estimadas en Cristo:

Antes de todo, les mando un saludo lleno de afecto y gratitud por todo lo que recibí de ustedes durante mi paso por la vida consagrada en el Movimiento Regnum Christi. Todavía ahora sigo en contacto con muchas de ustedes con las que tengo una verdadera amistad y con las que comparto los grandes ideales que han alimentado mi vida.

Me he permitido escribirles estas líneas ante las informaciones que ya circulan entre ustedes sobre el libro “El Reino de Marcial Maciel” que acabo de escribir y próximamente estará a la venta en las librerías.

Les aseguro, contra lo que se está diciendo en algunos equipos, que el libro no nace del resentimiento porque no hay tal, sino de mi compromiso con la verdad y con ustedes. Lo he hecho con todo el amor cristiano y el respeto a la verdad que ustedes se merecen, y lo pondré en sus manos para ofrecerles un conocimiento informado de los hechos, con el fin de que juntos podamos buscar lo que el Señor quiere de nosotros en la renovación del Movimiento Regnum Christi por encima de componendas y ficciones.

He evitado cualquier dato morboso o dañino para alguien y sólo he recogido testimonios seguros y verificados. Desgraciadamente, he tenido que señalar cosas negativas, pero verán que no me deleito en ellas, sino que las señalo como elementos que tenemos que superar y que estoy convencida de que podemos superar.

En el libro, he recogido muchos testimonios dolorosos de personas queridas y cercanas porque me parecía que eso ayuda a tener un punto de vista completo. Lejos de las visiones idílicas o utópicas en las que vivimos. He respetado el anonimato de quién me ha pedido que lo mantuviera y he tratado de ser siempre sincera en la exposición de lo que pienso. Puedo tener muchos errores, como todos los seres humanos, y seguramente ustedes los irán descubriendo, pero les aseguro que he investigado y comprobado todas las afirmaciones que hago, siempre asesorada por hombres y mujeres de Iglesia especialistas en los distintos temas que se abordan. Pido perdón desde ahora a aquellas que puedan sentirse ofendidas o afectadas. No era mi propósito hacer daño a nadie.

Prometo enviarles una copia para el equipo con el fin de que puedan juzgar por ustedes mismas.

Sin más, me despido de ustedes deseándoles una vivencia libre y comprometida en su consagración a Dios, sin trampas ni manipulaciones.

Les aseguro un lugar muy especial en mi corazón y en mis oraciones y me encomiendo a las suyas.

Afectísima en Cristo y el Movimiento.


Nelly Ramírez Mota Velasco

Regnum Christi Consecrated Female to Tell All in new book

"The Kingdom of Marcial Maciel, the Secret Life of the Legion and Regnum Christi"


Book will be published very soon in Spanish by the prestigious Mexican house, Editorial Planeta.

Life after RC gives a preview and a rough translation

Former LC Fr. Matthew Green now in New York diocese

Fr Matthew Green posts on his blog a request to Pray for the members of LC and RC

This is the first the blogger has heard of Fr. Green, that he existed, that he had belonged, and that he had left; so I am unaware whether or not his defection is news.
Like others who have continued as active priests, he does not explain why he left, except in vague terms -maybe there is an unwritten code of clerical discretion.. But anyway I welcome the writing, the sharing of something somewhat personal and his well wishes and prayers for the members:

"The Legion of Christ’s 70th Birthday


Posted on January 3, 2011 by Fr Matthew Green

Today marks the 70th anniversary of the foundation of the Legion of Christ, the congregation which I joined in 1991 and which I am now in the process of leaving.

As novices we studied the history of the congregation. We all learned that the process of foundation had been fraught with complications and opposition, and only succeeded because of the persistence and ingenuity of the founder, Marcial Maciel, and his fidelity to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Little did we suspect just how complicated and obscure that process was. Over the past few years we have learned of a variety of abuses and transgressions on the part of the founder – dating back to the foundation and probably before – that force a reexamination and reevaluation of the facts, motivations, and results of the Legion’s 70 year history, and of its current practices, rules and leadership.

My own reflections and prayers on these revelations helped me to the conclusion that God no longer wants me to be a part of the Legion. However, the Vatican has invested important resources in trying to help the Legion overcome this crisis. While there must be some bad apples (as there are in any organization, and they could not have gotten into this mess without the founder having some accomplices), all the Legionaries I know well are talented, well-intentioned men whom I love and respect, and who have the desire to make whatever changes are needed to continue serving God through the Legion’s charism (although the exact nature of the charism is itself a topic of some debate right now). They need help to see clearly and judge correctly, with a healthy distance from the distorted views and habits of thought and behavior that have their origin in the profoundly disturbed psychology of the founder. There is significant good in the Legion, and it would be a tragedy to lose that good in the murky and pervasive bathwater that desperately needs to be flushed out.

So today, I’d like to ask anyone who reads this, to pray please for the Legionaries of Christ and members of their affiliated Regnum Christi lay movement. May this 70th anniversary of foundation mark a turning point in this crisis. Under the guidance of the Pope and his representatives, may they come to a clear and objective understanding of what comes from God and what does not, so they can leave the tragedy of the Legion’s past behind, make reparation where needed, and serve the Church in justice, truth and charity.

It’s a good day to re-read the Vatican’s communiqué following the Apostolic Visitation of the Legion, published last year. "

Fr. Arthur Mollenhauer, still LC?

LEGION MAKES PRIESTS BUT CANT KEEP THEM

Cruising Catholic Parishes...
The apple does not fall far from the tree.
Many Legionaries in the diocese of Bridgeport, CT, with bishop Lori -who served his time in the archdiocese of Washington and knows all about Legionaries of Christ. Has Bishop Lori accepted any recently exiting Legion priests?
Other bishops would also be interested in picking up a few good men exiting the Legion during this time of turmoil.
Not sure if Fr Mollenhauer is still using the LC after his name.
Hope he has made a smooth transition to the diocese. Was that fast -he is a pastor?

A Lovely Little Story from Dublin

Friends,
here is a lovely story on the blog of former Dublin Legionary, Padraic Murray; very well and sweetly written. Enjoy!
--

Sunday, December 12, 2010Time for my Brother


Time for my Brother

I never had a brother, but I had hundreds of Brothers. An only child for seven years, I yearned for company to play or even fight with. My sister Kate arrived when I was seven and my sister Margaret when I was ten, and that was that.

At the age of 18 years and three days I joined the Novitiate of the Legion of Christ in Leopardstown, County Dublin. The Seminary was a green building built on land that had been sourced by Archbishop John McQuaid – now a controversial figure in political and ecclesial history, known to my father who was a big fan of the Archbishop who could be quite charming in private. The Legionary Novitiate may be the only green building to my knowledge in all of Ireland. The green tiled building, conceived to ‘blend in’, sticks out like a sore thumb as you drive along the M50 motorway at the Sandyford junction.

In 1969 I joined twenty other young men with a view to serving God in the Mexican Missions. Within an hour of joining we were advised that we should address each other as ‘Brother’. It became natural over the following two years of the Spiritual Formation Course (the Novitiate) to call each other ‘Brother’. So much so that when two of us were sent under cover in mufti on a ‘delicate’ mission to Madrid in 1971 to pretend that we were lay students attending UCD, we found it almost impossible not to call each other ‘Brother’ and once or twice we lapsed.

We lived a life of poverty chastity and obedience. Poverty meant having no possessions of one’s own – literally. We were all assigned jobs, Sacristan, Cook, Medical Officer, Farmer, among others. My favorite job was Receptionist because it entailed spending much of ones time in a little office at the front of the building where I could see all the comings and goings. I got to sleep in a little room beside the reception so as to be able to take phone calls that might sound in the night. This was in the days before phone extensions and mobile phones.

In the years after I left in 1976 I used to claim that my only possession was my watch – which was not strictly true. Stricly I had no watch. The watch I brought to the Seminary was given to young man called Thomas Price – ‘Brother’ Thomas Price – to give him his full religious name. Thomas had the toughest job of all. He was in charge of ‘time’. With the help of my watch he sounded the bell every time a new task was due. He rang the first bell rang at 5.50 am for Morning Prayer, followed at 6.00 for meditation, followed at 7.00 for Mass, followed at 7.30 for breakfast – in silence – and so on.

The Brother in charge of the Bell needed to be punctual and diligent. Thomas Price had those qualities and more. Over the following 41 years nearly all my companions left the Legion of Christ – but because we were never allowed discuss personal matters in the Seminary – our decisions to leave were made alone, without access to colleagues or family. Often when we left, our remaining colleagues were told we had moved 'to Mexico' or to another mission. That is what happened in my case. It was reported that I had left on a top secret mission to the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico when in fact I was back in Dublin walking Dollymount Strand.

As a result, having been deprived of communication while inside the Legion, this nearly always continued afterwards – often for years. Many were so traumatized by the Legionary experience they chose not to contact others, no matter how well meaning. Purely by chance, some years ago I learned that Thomas had unsurprisingly left but surprisingly and sadly had died at a very young age. I was shocked and saddened. Thomas had been a gifted footballer. He hailed from the Liberties and I can still see his parents in my mind. Our parents were allowed to visit the seminary twice a year for an afternoon. I have pleasant if black and white memories of their reunions with Thomas from my vantage point in Reception.

Yesterday as I drove around Glenageary roundabout, thirty nine years later I got a call on my mobile phone from a friend in Amnesty International – where I had served as honorary treasurer for three year. In moving premises they had discovered a Bible donated to a Brother Thomas Price, LC (Legion of Christ) on the occasion of the Profession (Promises) in 1971.

Memories flooded back of the red headed Brother Thomas as he made his way along the polished Seminary floors in the early morning and how he glanced at his watch – my watch; memories of him playing football in the field which now houses Bewley's Hotel in Leopardstown, of working with him to harvest potatoes in the autumn of 1970 in the land that is now occupied by Central Park.

Coming up to our first Christmas in the Seminary, in December 1969 Brother Thomas dropped the watch on the marble floors and it smashed into many pieces. So that was the end to the only thing I had in the world. Those two years in Leopardstown and the five following years taught me a very privileged lesson – possessions don’t really matter as long as you have three decent meals a day and a roof over your head. Many in Dublin and in Mexico will not have those luxuries this Christmas.

I have undertaken to try to track down members of the Price family and return the ‘Amnesty’ Bible to the family of my 'Brother' – Thomas Price. So if anyone out there knows of someone related to a wonderful red headed young man (as he was in 1969), hailing from Cork Street in the Liberties, who played a mean game of football and who was never late in his life, just give me a call and we will try and offer the family a small momento and remember a life that, if short, was nevertheless heroic.

PS Best of luck to all in Amnesty who will be moving into new offices over the Christmas Period!