"I have decided to pursue my Priesthood Outside the Legion"

[see Douglas Barry's very recent testimony on sister blog "How to Get a Loved One Out of the..."]

In this context, I have decided to seek by means of exclaustration -as you know it is given for three years- to try to exercise my priesthood outside the Legion, because I believe it is not healthy for my priesthood to continue in a system that will take a long time to change, and with which I have encountered no few incompatibilities....

Workshop for people Exiting High Demand Groups

Announcing.. .

Workshop for Former Members of Cults or High-Demand Groups

Special Guest Facilitator: Janja Lalich, Ph.D., former cult member &

author of Take Back Your Life and Bounded Choice

March 13th, 2010 from 1:00 – 5:00 P.M. ­ Mill Valley, CA Location

(In the San Francisco Bay Area)

Fee: $45.00 ­ Participation limited to 20

This is an opportunity to meet and participate with other former members of cults or high-demand groups. Our goal is to provide a safe, respectful environment in which participants may gain mutual support, share perceptions, and learn from each other. We hope to focus on typical post-cult aftereffects and responses, the process of recovery and personal development, strategies and successes for a creating a life of one's own making. While this is not a therapy group, it may be therapeutic.

The session will begin with brief introductions, followed by an open discussion in which participants can expand upon anything previously stated, comment on emerging thoughts and feelings, and address relevant issues.

The facilitators, Colleen Russell and Janja Lalich, expect a lively, interactive, and in-depth exploration of issues raised by participants, such as trust; relationships and communication; healthy group functioning; magical thinking; disconfirming inaccurate, self-limiting beliefs internalized from cult ideologies; boundaries and saying "no"; loss and grief; anger and other emotions; critical-thinking skills; connecting to society-at-large; self-acceptance; post-traumatic stress; family of origin issues; personal accomplishments and goals.

Colleen Russell, L.M.F.T., is an experienced psychotherapist and a Certified Group Psychotherapist. In the 1970s she was a "higher initiate" and area representative of an Eastern/New Age cult. Ms. Russell facilitates an on-going group for former members, now in its eighth year, and she endeavors to support healthy as opposed to cultic group functioning and dynamics. In addition to her general therapy practice with individuals, couples, and families, she specializes in cult education and recovery.

Janja Lalich, Ph.D., is Professor of Sociology at California State, University, Chico. In the 1970s and '80s she was a high-ranking member of a San Francisco-based political cult. Since leaving the cult in 1986, Dr. Lalich has become one of the nation's leading experts on cult phenomena, including cult indoctrination and its effects and recovery from such experiences. In addition to her own works, she coauthored two books with the late Dr. Margaret Singer. Dr. Lalich facilitated former member support groups for many years in the San Francisco Bay Area and has worked with many individuals and families affected by cults.

Location of Workshop: The setting for the workshop is in the apartment above Ms. Russell's Mill Valley office, a comfortable environment with expansive views of the Redwood-covered ridge. Refreshments will be provided.

Call with any questions and to register: Colleen Russell, 415.383.7721. If you are planning to attend, registration fee must be received by March 6th, 2010.

"The Day I Left the Legion of Christ"

For now this Testimony on exlc.info is in French

[Rough translation]

That day, although it had been preceded by a month of spiritual crisis,  everything happened suddenly. A discreet jump into the town center one afternoon with one of them looking for some clothes. Then everything happened with the greatest discretion, so that, according to the tradition in these cases, my little personal drama would not perturb the fidelity of the others.


At that moment, I was careful not to be seen "in civvies" and I furtively went down the service stairs heading for the airport. My two superiors were waiting for me in the garage. After a furtive trip to Mc Donalds to relax the tension, it was time to leave, a new life was beginning.


The time would come when my confreres would realize I was not there and the hackneyed formulas would fill the gap: "se fue", he left, or "ya no esta", he is no longer here, or "no era su camino", it was not his path!. These practical phrases stopped any further discussion of the issue if questions arose about my disappearance.

[Original text, first part]

« Un récit bien triste...

Le jour où je suis sorti de la Légion

Par Xavier le mercredi 3 février 2010, - Témoignages - Lien permanent

Ce jour là, bien que préparé à l’événement par des mois de crise spirituelle, tout va très vite. Un saut discret au centre ville une après-midi pour quelques courses vestimentaires avec l’un d’entre eux. Puis tout se passe dans la discrétion la plus totale, pour que, comme la tradition l’a établi dans ces cas là à la Légion, mon petit drame personnel ne vienne pas perturber la fidélité des autres.

Pour le moment, je prends garde de ne pas être vu ‘en civil’ et je descends furtivement les escaliers de service, direction l’aéroport. Mes deux supérieurs m’attendent au garage. Après un passage furtif au Macdonald histoire de décrisper l’atmosphère, c’est le départ, une nouvelle vie commence.

Le moment viendra bien où mes frères de communauté s’en rendront compte et je sais déjà que les formules toutes faites colmateront la brèche: « ¡se fue! » (il est parti!) ou « ¡ya no esta! ») « il n’est plus là! » ou encore (« ¡no era su camino! ») « ce n’était pas son chemin! ». Ces phrases pratiques permettront de ne pas aller plus loin sur la question si des interrogations surgissent à mon sujet.

Olga, 3gf Consecrated, leaves after 15 years!

Although not a native French speaker Olga bid adieu with a message in that language which we are translating.
-------------------------------
Olga, a witness after 15 years of consecrated life
[rough translation by anonymous]

As you will have already learned, I also left the consecrated life after 15 years, 7 of them in Paris. My departure took place at the proper time, and in a most completely providential manner.( I see that now). My experience was not like yours. I must say in fairness to the movement, that I left in peace, in discernment made with much wisdom, together with a lay Chilean psychologist, and the proper conscrated director ( to whom I am very thankful) forbid me to speak with her [the female director] and IT IS SHE WHO RECOMMENDED THE PSYCHOLOGOST SO SHE NOT TO INFLUENCE ME AND TO ALLOW ME TOTAL FREEDOM. I left in December 2005 and here I am married and very happy!!! The reason for my departure was not the problem with MACIEL, WHO WAS STILL IN THE SHADOWS,but an existential and personal aspect which always troubled me

I wanted to leave here however humbly my little testimony because I received a lot from the Legion and from the movement since age 13 and I was lucky never to have seen the behavior of “Maciel’s type” in any LC or consecrated person that I knew, but that didn’t stop me from asking since I found out the news, that I asked everyone: Father Alvaro, Maleny, Malen,the truth and nothing but the truth, clarity, firmness, the immediate request for forgivness of the victims, and that I received not one single personal response to any of my correspondance.. No problem. I will continue to write and ask for clarity, honesty,  truthfulness ESPECIALLY WITH THE CONSECRATED MEMBERS AND LEGIONARIES STILL INSIDE!!!  And THAT I FEEL THAT IN THE CASE OF THE MEMBERS AND LEGIONARIES WHO ARE STILL INSIDE AND ABOVE ALL IN THE CASE OF A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL ON THE MOON, AS IF NOTHING HAS HAPPENED..because no one lets them know!!! Let us continue to write each other. Thank you in the peace of Holy Spirit and of the Holy Virgin

Please excuse the spelling mistakes, especially accents. With a Spanish keyboard it takes me hours.

My marvelous memories of France and the French. See you soon.!!
==================================================
[Original Testimony]
Comme tu le sauras deja j ai quittee moi aussi la vie consacree apres 15 ans ,
dont 7 à Paris. Ma sortie a eu lieu juste au moment qu'il fallait et comme il fallait de façon complètement (je le vois maintenant) providentielle. Mon experience n'a pas ete comme la tienne, je dois dire par justice envers le mouvement, que je suis sortie dans la paix, dans en discernement fait avec bp de sagesse, accopagnee par une psicologue chilienne laique, et la propre directirce consacree (envers la quelle je suis tres reconnaisante) m'a empechè de parler avec elle mème et C'EST ELLE QUI MA RECOMANDE LA PSICOLOGUE POUR NE PAS M'INFLUENCER ET ME LAISSER EN TOTALE LIBERTE. Je suis sorti en Decembre 2005 et me voila marié et tres heureuse!!!...la raison de ma sortie n'a pas ete le probleme du MACIEL, QUI ETE ENCORE DANS L'OMBRE, mais un aspect existentielle et plus intime qui me tracassé depuis tjs.

Je voulais quand meme laisser ici humblement mon petit temoignage car j'ai reçu bp de la Legion et du mouvement depuis que j'ai 13 ans, j'ai eu la chance de ne pas avoir vu un comportement du genre "Maciel"de la part d'aucun lc, ni consacree que j'ai connue, mais cela n'empeche que depuis que j'ai apris la nouvelle j'ai demandè de tous , P. Alvaro, Maleny, Malen ...la veritè et rien que la veritè, la clartè, la fermetè, la demande de pardon inmediate aux victimes et que je n'ai reçu auncune reponse personelle a aucuns de ces mails, ce n'est pas grave je continuerais a ecrire a appeller a demander clarte, honete, veracite...SURTOUT AVEC LES MEMBRES CONSACREES ET LEGIONAIRES QUI SONT ENCORE DEDANS!!! ET QUE JE SENT,DANS LE CAS DES BPS, VIVENT UN PEU DANS LA LUNE COMME SI RIEN NE C ETAIT PASSE, parce que on ne les informe pas!!!...on continuera á s'ecrire...MERCI ENCORE dans la paix de L'esprit Saint et de la Sainte Vierge...

Pardon pour les fautes d'ortographe, surtout les accents, avec le clavier espagnol je mets des heures...

Mes souvenirs tjs merveilleux de la France et des français!! à bientot!!

Pretty Amazing Grace can save you, Departing Legionary! There is Jesus, Father and Spirit after the Legion/Regnum!

With sincere affection and brotherly support I want to dedicate this song to exiting and exited members of the Legion of Christ and Regnum Christi.

Maybe its a bit corny but let the music and the lyrics take you to another kind of Encounter with Christ

Fr. Richard Gill, LC, is leaving

I’m leaving more because the manner in which the Legion has handled the revelations since the Vatican took action against Fr. Maciel in 2006 has left me often frustrated and totally distracted.

[Text of Fr. Gill, LC's farewell letter]

Dear Regnum Christi Friends,

With my greetings for a very happy New Year for 2010 and assurance of my continued prayers and Masses for you and your families, I have some news to pass on to you. 

I’m writing to inform you that after 29 years, I will be leaving the Legionaries of Christ and will apply to become a priest of the Archdiocese of New York.

I leave with a heavy heart and as you can imagine, it is a very sad experience for me. But after long conversations and correspondence with superiors, and after having consulted with prudent and widely respected priests, I believe in my conscience it is the right thing to do.

The news of the various scandals regarding Fr. Maciel was truly shocking and horrendous for us and the whole the Church.  In dealing with them I have tried my best to be honest and candid whenever I have spoken to you all about them and never knowingly misled anyone. I have believed that a rigorously honest approach to this terrible series of events was the only way to proceed.  Furthermore, I felt that if done so, and counting on the help of the Holy See, it could even lead to true healing and renewal for the Legion and the Movement, even in spite of the truly serious questions it raises about the charism of the congregation.

I’m leaving more because the manner in which the Legion has handled the revelations since the Vatican took action against Fr. Maciel in 2006 has left me often frustrated and totally distracted. 

I’ve tried my best to communicate with the superiors over this past year, and they have been gracious and generous taking the time to listen. I believe I have had the opportunity to get my point of view across to them.

I have participated extensively in the Apostolic Visitation and gave my best input to Abp. Chaput on multiple occasions.  He has been gracious, fair and objective.   I feel I have done all I can in that regard. 

My conclusion is that the reforms needed in the Legion (which the scandals have made clear) simply won’t happen in the foreseeable future with the current leadership’s approach to the matter.

I hope and pray the Apostolic Visitation somehow does bring about the needed changes, and remain ready to do whatever I can to help.  But anything the Holy See can do depends also on the willingness of the Legion to examine itself and work on its own problems.  Even in the most optimistic of scenarios, reform will take a great deal of time and will continue to be a very absorbing and frustrating experience.  I don’t want to live my priesthood in frustration, but serve the Church as best I can in another capacity.

Nothing I have said should be understood to take away in the least the gratitude I feel for all the good I have received from the Legion over these many years. There are so many things about the Legion and the Movement that are extraordinarily unique and wonderful.   It has been a privilege to serve among so many talented and holy brothers and priests, who have treated me with such kindness and charity.  There are so many treasured memories and many fruitful apostolic works I have had the privilege to be associated with, as well as generous and loving lay people who have always edified me with their example of faith and love.  Those are true blessings from God for which I will always be grateful. 

I hope to keep in touch and I encourage you all to continue in your own vocation, attentive to the Holy Spirit and growing every day in love for the Lord and his will in your life.  I will have you and your families very close in my prayers and Masses.

 Please let me know if there is ever anything I can do for you. 

                                               Sincerely in Christ,

                                               Fr. Richard Gill

[3] Song of Departing Legionary

Love on the rocks

Love on the rocks

Ain't no surprise

Pour me a drink

And I'll tell you some lies

Got nothin' to lose

So you just sing the blues all the time

Gave you my heart

Gave you my soul

You left me alone here

With nothing to hold

Yesterday's gone

Now all I want is a smile



First, they say they want you

How they really need you

Suddenly you find you're out there

Walking in a storm

When they know they have you

Then they really have you

Nothing you can do or say

You've got to leave, just get away

We all know the song



You need what you need

You can say what you want

Not much you can do

When the feeling is gone

May be blue skies above

But it's cold when you love's on the rocks

First, they say they want you

How they really need you

Suddenly you find you're out there

Walking in a storm

When they know they have you

Then they really have you

Nothing you can do or say

You've got to leave, just get away

We all know the song